*Update* It’s now 2018 and this is still one of my most well-read posts. That being the case, the older and wiser me is going to share some wisdom. Ditch the lotion and get yourself a long and close-toothed metal comb. Something like a nitty-gritty is the only way to go. Cover the offending head in conditioner and comb (and comb, and comb) through, section by section. It takes ages but it’s worth it.
Important note: Don’t wait until you’re flaying yourself alive to comb. Build it into your schedule – regular coming is the only way to stay nit-free (and it saves you a fortune in nit-lotion, which is horrible to wash out). If you discover you or your child has nits and you only comb once, you’re guaranteeing that they come back…
I’ve been suffering lately, convinced that the world was talking about me because my ears were on fire. I’d wake up and spend the day pulling at them, tearing up the back of my neck scratching away. I wondered if I was suffering from some sort of allergy and stopped using all my hair products to try and isolate the guilty party, allowing my hair to frizz away happily in the sea air on Raasay.
A couple of days into our holiday I had a brainwave and checked all of the kids for headlice – nothing doing – I couldn’t have them then could I? I returned to blaming the bloody midges and scratching off a layer of skin an hour.
Maybe the sea air helped, because the itching subsided. Or maybe it was the fact the the midge bites took precedence and I forgot about the burny ear and neck issue – until this morning.
Waking up I was surprised that my neck wasn’t oozing blood I was scratching it that hard. I dashed for the shower, grabbing the nit comb on the way. There’s a sense of nostalgia that envelopes when using the nit comb, I never comb my hair these days with a close-toothed comb, truth be told I rarely comb my hair at all, which is possibly why it turns out that I was housing some of the biggest head lice in the western hemisphere.
Look away now if you’re squeamish:
This was just one of many that were rehomed down the plughole. I combed and combed and despatched many little licey families but then, disaster – no lotion in the cupboard and it’s bank holiday Monday. Which means that I’m incubating the little buggers. They’re partying on my poor exfoliated head like it’s 1999 and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I learned two lessons today and I’d like to pass them on to you. Firstly a girl should never be without her nitcomb, Victoria would do well to remember this as she embarks on her huge adventure, and secondly, no house where children reside should ever forget to build in regular combings to their schedule.
Are you scratching? If you’re not then you’re at least 80% cyborg….and quite possibly headlice free.