This morning the 5yo gouged the face of the 4yo. Luckily we’d recently cut off all her nails so all she left were red marks that quickly faded.

An hour later, en route to that there London, the 4yo retaliated, cutting the 5yo’s lip and leaving two brilliant red crescents in the 5yo’s hand – sadly we hadn’t got to the 4yo’s nails in quite such a timely manner.

The 8yo is getting better, but there are also times when his tantrums come crashing through the barricades…

Often these outbursts of REALLY bad behaviour occur just before the child in question comes down with some lurgy or other, and I’m learning to be more considered in my responses.  Of course, now I’m in danger of making the assumption that all of my children are ill 50 times a week but you’ve got to get to that balanced point somehow haven’t you?

Being half term, we’re all conscious of giving our children the time and space to relax, shake things down a little and have some free time.  I don’t want to be spending the day saying ‘No’ and I’ve worked out that there is barely any difference in the tale telling and tears when I’ve spent the day shouting myself hoarse as compared with a complete laissez faire attitude where I basically ignore ALL the bad stuff and let them get on with it.

With three children I predict an increasing number of times where I’ll just have to let things go.  It’s all too easy to get caught up in something and cling to it doggedly without really thinking it through clearly.  I think I’d like to spend more time looking for the stuff that matters….


Letting it go….
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8 thoughts on “Letting it go….

  • October 27, 2010 at 7:37 am

    Otherwise known as the lazy school of parenting. One that I subscribe wholeheartedly to. Means you get lots of time to talk to your lovely friend. And the children learn valuable lessons in entertaining themselves and learning the art of cooperation. It doesn’t always result in trips to casualty, which is nice. And while I’d rather my bathroom didn’t smell of curry, there’s worse that could happen.

  • October 27, 2010 at 7:45 am

    As I posted just the other day on my blog, kids do seem over stimulated these days. I remember looking forward to half-term as a time when I could switch off completely as a child, not having to do the regimented routine of school. So I applaud heartily your relaxed approach to parenting over the half-term.

    You might want to Gaffa tape your children’s hands to their sides though. Then they’ll have to work co-operatively to get themselves free and probably forget about attacking each other.

    Have a good week!

  • October 27, 2010 at 9:13 am

    Half-term should be about relaxing and escaping the day to day challenges they face at school. I know my kids need a break from their school friends as much as the work. The problem with a week is it takes almost as long to unwind and get back in to a routine with the family. Siblings argue. Perhaps we’ve forgotten that in this loved-up “everyone must get along” culture we live in nowadays. I fought fiercely with my sister who is two yrs younger than me pretty much until we were teenagers. There was quite a lot of stratching and name calling involved!! Now we are the best of friends. I don’t know what the formula is to ensure that happens except that maybe as the parent you foster the relationship beyond the arguing. Let’s face it sometimes we just need to scream and shout and our nearest and dearest our always the easiest to take it out on. I’ve met your kiddies and their lovely. You’ve got nothing to worry about x

  • October 27, 2010 at 11:17 am

    “you really do have extraordinarily high tolerance levels” LOL! It’s very true though, they do just get on with it – much better all round *hides curry powder*

  • October 27, 2010 at 11:19 am

    Silas, I’m liking your thinking – for someone without children you seem to really have a handle on how to approach this whole parenting lark. But it’s very true – over stimulation is unnecessary and leads to all sorts of problems. A bit of boredom, a cardboard box and an array of blunt colouring pencils is more than enough for any child 🙂

  • October 27, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    My two are currently outside with nextdoors little girl looking for crickets and bugs in the field at the end of the road. I am doing a little freerange parenting. We have been to the beach this morning and then the opticians, but I am learning that they need to have time to wind down and just be too.

  • October 28, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Set wide but clear and inviolate boundaries. Inside them offer love, humour, curiosity, support and hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. Outside them unleash the Hell hounds of parental disapproval.

    Breathe. Trust. Love.

    It works.

    And if in doubt just take the piss out of them! That really works a treat.

  • October 29, 2010 at 7:16 am

    Oh God i let go years ago – right after my youngest was born. I’m just trying to claw back some authority. Good luck!


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