I hope you are well and enjoying your Easter break with your, no doubt, very well behaved children, who eat and sleep on command. Please don’t consider the following a complaint of any kind, I have no wish to jeopardise the future of any of my offspring but I do feel that there is a matter that must be brought to your attention, for the simple fact that if I do not do so now, your post-Easter intake may be slightly and unavoidably reduced.
I have heard about ‘wrap-around-care’ and am very interested in finding out more. I am already very impressed with how quickly my children are learning at your fabulous educational establishment and, with no 3 due to join you imminently, I am considering how to make best use of all that I am entitled to.
Breakfast Clubs are all very well, but I’ve seen that film and I’m not sure my children are at the Hula Hoops sandwich stage yet, so I’ll pass thanks. After school clubs obviously have their place too and, should we ever manage to secure one of the few places available I’ll be happy to feedback as to their efficacy.
My issue is more around the whole Bedtime Club, which I notice you have yet to roll out beyond your own family. Whilst I appreciate the need to beta test these ideas, I’m growing impatient now and frankly I fear that your Outstanding Ofsted grading may come under review if you don’t step it up to the next level…. Outreach Support.
I’ll outline my problem and maybe we can strategise together to find a best practice solution. I’m all for transitioning to a long term workable programme; I’ll even help compile a white paper if you think it will help with funding.
The crux of it is that the “I’ll write to your Headmistress” threat has lost all effectiveness. It used to work as I’m sure you’ll attest- can you remember the last time you received any correspondence from me? (We won’t count the overly emotional diatribe I left following the parent’s evening before last…. You did *ask* for feedback)
In light of the fact that it is only just April, I have at least 5 months before I can roll out the Father Christmas threats and, honestly, my children may not live that long if you don’t help me now.
Here’s your starter for 10. The little one is the problem child, she’s the whisperer and it only takes one to start a rebellion. Bedtime is at 7pm sharp and yet tonight it was 9 o’clock before I stopped shouting gently persuading them all to go to sleep.
My rather brilliant solution, and I’m sure you’ll agree, is to suggest that you pop round, let’s say 6.50? You could read them the riot act- that’s their favourite, test their spellings, do a few CVC words and tuck them in. I’ll pop the kettle on and wait downstairs, then you can be on your way. You’d be out the door by 7.30… it’s a winner n’est pas?
I’m not doing this ALL for me, you understand? I know how important those lovely SATS are to your targets and tired children don’t learn well, now do they?
Now, I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only parent to want to take you up on Outreach Support so your time may be stretched…..but hang on! Just give Father Christmas a shout – he has an amazing magic sleigh that lets him get round the whole world in one night, you only need to do one tiny section of Bucks, I’m sure he’ll let you borrow it. Job Done, so I’ll see you on Monday yes?
Yours very sincerely,
*I am dedicating this post to the lovely @nickie72 over at Typecast who dared me to blog it…. it’s all her fault (most things are) 😉
Late Breaking News: I’ve just had a response! Check it out here 😀