I hope you are well and enjoying your Easter break with your, no doubt, very well behaved children, who eat and sleep on command.  Please don’t consider the following a complaint of any kind, I have no wish to jeopardise the future of any of my offspring but I do feel that there is a matter that must be brought to your attention, for the simple fact that if I do not do so now, your post-Easter intake may be slightly and unavoidably reduced.

I have heard about ‘wrap-around-care’ and am very interested in finding out more. I am already very impressed with how quickly my children are learning at your fabulous educational establishment and, with no 3 due to join you imminently, I am considering how to make best use of all that I am entitled to.

Breakfast Clubs are all very well, but I’ve seen that film and I’m not sure my children are at the Hula Hoops sandwich stage yet, so I’ll pass thanks.  After school clubs obviously have their place too and, should we ever manage to secure one of the few places available I’ll be happy to feedback as to their efficacy.

My issue is more around the whole Bedtime Club, which I notice you have yet to roll out beyond your own family. Whilst I appreciate the need to beta test these ideas, I’m growing impatient now and frankly I fear that your Outstanding Ofsted grading may come under review if you don’t step it up to the next level…. Outreach Support.

I’ll outline my problem and maybe we can strategise together to find a best practice solution.  I’m all for transitioning to a long term workable programme; I’ll even help compile a white paper if you think it will help with funding.

The crux of it is that the “I’ll write to your Headmistress” threat has lost all effectiveness.  It used to work as I’m sure you’ll attest- can you remember the last time you received any correspondence from me?  (We won’t count the overly emotional diatribe I left following the parent’s evening before last…. You did *ask* for feedback)

In light of the fact that it is only just April, I have at least 5 months before I can roll out the Father Christmas threats and, honestly, my children may not live that long if you don’t help me now.

Here’s your starter for 10.  The little one is the problem child, she’s the whisperer  and it only takes one to start a rebellion.  Bedtime is at 7pm sharp and yet tonight it was 9 o’clock before I stopped shouting gently persuading them all to go to sleep.

My rather brilliant solution, and I’m sure you’ll agree, is to suggest that you pop round, let’s say 6.50? You could read them the riot act- that’s their favourite, test their spellings, do a few CVC words and tuck them in.  I’ll pop the kettle on and wait downstairs, then you can be on your way.  You’d be out the door by 7.30… it’s a winner n’est pas?

I’m not doing this ALL for me, you understand?  I know how important those lovely SATS are to your targets and tired children don’t learn well, now do they?

Now, I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only parent to want to take you up on Outreach Support so your time may be stretched…..but hang on!  Just give Father Christmas a shout – he has an amazing magic sleigh that lets him get round the whole world in one night, you only need to do one tiny section of Bucks, I’m sure he’ll let you borrow it.  Job Done, so I’ll see you on Monday yes?

Yours very sincerely,

Me x

*I am dedicating this post to the lovely @nickie72 over at Typecast who dared me to blog it…. it’s all her fault (most things are) 😉

Late Breaking News:  I’ve just had a response! Check it out here 😀

Dear Mrs Headmistress*
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13 thoughts on “Dear Mrs Headmistress*

  • April 7, 2010 at 11:18 pm
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    Yes, everything this week is my fault… that’s what I get for taking a week off work… dedication to my social network friends, daring them to do stuff – just like in the REAL old day school holidays 😉

    Next week, wading into a pond, searching for frog spawn, armed only with a stick and a jam jar..

    You sound like you needed to get all that off your chest, though. This blog post was born out of speedy typing. I’ll bet there was steam coming off your fingertips, yes?

    And the reason that the thread “I’ll write to your Headmistress” doesn’t work any more is the fact that ALL children know that *no-one* writes any more… we all email, text and blog 😉

  • April 7, 2010 at 11:34 pm
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    It has been one of ‘those’ nights, yes….was meant to work but had no energy after the bedtime debacle. Doh! You’re right about the letter….I’ll try threatening to tweet her, that’ll get their attention…. 😉

  • April 8, 2010 at 6:46 am
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    When she’s done your place can you send her round mine, I think there’s a bus that does Norfook to Lardan. It’s rather long, but like you said, she wouldn’t want to see her Ofsted start dipping. You know what the middle classes are like. Take one out and the rest fall like erm, flies.

  • April 8, 2010 at 8:06 am
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    I love it! I’ll volunteer for it! As you know, I’m a retired head teacher so know all about that sort of thing. I have a Mary Poppins type bag so can do ‘good cop / bad cop’ when needed!

    Excellent post Paula!

  • Pingback: Response to ‘Dear Mrs.Headmistress’ « What Will Julia Do Next?

  • April 8, 2010 at 5:49 pm
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    When the headmistress is done at yours ask her to island hop and pop over to Ireland and help me with mine. I am sure there is a way to combine our educational systems that will benefit everyone 😀 WTG @nickie72 for the dare, good call 🙂 Jen.

  • April 8, 2010 at 10:13 pm
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    Flies have wings dearheart, that’s what keeps them afloat…aloft….aflying?

    I’ll work on it, but surely it’s all private schools and cinnamon danishes in your neck of? Heading back to no man’s land v.soon…you know, that bit slightly south of the midlands and slightly north of Larndan where no one else wants to live?

  • April 8, 2010 at 10:14 pm
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    Thanks J and loving your reply…finishing responses then I’m going to update the post with the link to yours x

  • April 8, 2010 at 10:15 pm
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    Thanks Jen, I like what I’ve heard about your educational system tho! Still think we’re too caught up in the Victorian “chuck em up a chimney at 21 months, it’ll toughen ’em up”…. that’s another post though! xx

  • April 9, 2010 at 8:33 am
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    Fabulous! I’m also holding out for a ‘getting them out of their pyjamas and into school with the correct kit for the day’ club. Is your gorgeous baby starting school in September? Mine is, which is such a frightening thought that I decided to travel the world for 9months instead.

  • April 9, 2010 at 5:55 pm
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    I think you’ve got the right idea….I’ve signed her up for double session of pre school next term to up her stamina but I have a sick feeling that she’s not really ready for any of this. I still might be packing them all up and following you x

  • April 9, 2010 at 7:55 pm
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    Oh my lord. I was thinking that Father Christmas would work all year round – is that not the case?

    I have so much to learn…

  • April 10, 2010 at 7:18 pm
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    I think it depends on just how much threatening you have to do! In my case….no….my middley has discovered the power of “I don’t care” in relation to FC, but she does have a lot of respect for her Headmistress!

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