There are times when it pays to know a little bit about everything.

Specifically those times are:

#1. Pub quizzes- truly the playground of the trivia monkey

#2. Potentially awkward social engagements, eg partner’s Christmas do- the ability to spout nonsense about nothing in particular is an effective ice-breaker

#3. Journeys in black cabs- for obvious reasons

Those times are not:

#1. Driving back late from a night out and hearing a sudden bang from underneath the car

Tonight was a prime example of the ‘not’ list.  You might like to picture the scene:-

Me, friend, my car, A41, Watford (the Harrow end), dark, cold, tired, loud noise under car

Immediately after the loud noise, the car was found to be making a series of repetitive but unusual noises.  With no discernible change in the handling quality I made the following assumptions:-

#1 *winding down the window and stamping repeatedly on the accelerator*

“Well it doesn’t sound like it’s blowing so I don’t think the whole exhaust has gone”

#2 *Speeding up and slowing down*

“I think it’s just knocking a bit”

#3 *Grasping at straws now*

“I think maybe a stone flew up and we’ve lost a knuckle off the exhaust”

My suggestion, based on my recorded appraisal was to press on for as long as possible, in other words until the car fell apart in style of clown car.  We’re talking about a 45 mile journey here…

For the sake of clarity I should really explain that I am not a car mechanic.  I know nothing more than the few grains of knowledge I learned in a very brief introduction to car maintenance at 6th form, combined with the odd nugget that my dad taught me before cars changed and I realised I was never going to be Charlene*.  What I have got is an overactive imagination and an “i can do that” approach to life.

You don’t even need to tell me that an exhaust doesn’t have a knuckle…. of course it doesn’t, but it sounded good at the time.

What you could tell me is next time my car makes an unexplained noise that continues, pull in.  It might turn out to be a flat tyre and I may be lucky enough to have an AA man detour to get to me in record time (15 mins) and I may be on my way again in no time having helped lovely friend devour huge bar of dairy milk from 24hour garage.

Luckily on this occasion I wasn’t alone, so lovely friend told me, and for that @fluffypantz I thank you…

*Kylie Minogue’s character in Neighbours for anyone young enough not to remember *sob*

A little knowledge is a very bad thing….
Tagged on:                                         

6 thoughts on “A little knowledge is a very bad thing….

  • January 30, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    The reference to the ‘nugget’ was very convincing I have to say. You had me fooled anyway. I love the professional approach of both opening the windows…”mmm, all sounds ok”, so ‘it must be’. I’m SURE someone taught me that.

    Thank heavens for the AA and Cadburys…and the fact it was preceded by a great evening.

  • January 30, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    It is at times like this that I feel actually quite relieved that I am yet to pass my driving test. Who knows what I would have done in that sort of situation apart from panic badly and lose all sense of direction!

  • January 31, 2010 at 9:20 am

    Ha ha, I too like to blag knowledge of car mechanics. I recently told Mr that I thought the timing belt was off. I’m not sure what a timing belt is (or if it even exists).
    Glad you got back in one piece thanks to Mr AA but maybe you should stlll get that knuckle checked out?

  • January 31, 2010 at 9:28 am

    It was a top night wasn’t it? I heart Ivana Trump- what a gorgeous lady! Thanks for being there…. xx

  • January 31, 2010 at 9:30 am

    That’s pretty much what I did Rosie! The part I didn’t include was when I phoned up my recovery service and found out it had lapsed. Luckily lovely friend has comprehensive cover that caters for idiot friends….so if you take one thing from this, let it be never to cut the recovery cover from your budget!


  • January 31, 2010 at 9:31 am

    LOL! That’s exactly what I’d do…. thing is if you say if with enough conviction people will believe you! Car’s in the garage tomorrow so may well just ask them to check that knuckle!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *