I often look at my children and wonder how their personalities came to be so completely different. Given the same set of choices, the same rules and parameters, they will come to three very different conclusions or points in time. How is it that the same set of genes, replicated to the power of three can produce such incredibly different results?
I’m an only child, there is no one with the same genetic combinations as me, so although I see similarities in other family members and share certain traits with many, there is no one that shares my unique coding – and yes, that’s probably a good thing.
But does the fact that my three share a biological bond make them any more equipped to understand one another or to make the same choices in life? At the moment it seems to make them more likely to hit each other over the head with a Wii remote and blame someone else for the pink highlighter than seems to have found its way onto the curtains.
Watching them interact is like a very local, low budget version of Big Brother. It’s all so completely alien to me and I desperately (and naively) want them all to get on and like each other. If I set them a task they tend to come together briefly, form a hierarchy of sorts and generally achieve some kind of result. Maybe I should give them a weekly shopping budget and a blackboard and leave that to them as well?
It is simply astounding to me that as they grow and their personalities develop they become so very different. My arsenal for dealing with fraught situations is having to be constantly updated – as the Boy Wonder comes up to his ninth birthday I’m going to need to download BoysV9 to stand any chance of understanding him and I’m hoping it comes with a laser gun and light saber add on or I’m completely scuppered. I’m also due an upgrade to GirlsV6 very soon and my YoungerGirlV4 appears to be very buggy and regularly crashes on me, causing hours of instability and problems – it’s probably suffering from a virus.
I guess the only answer is to sit back and enjoy the ride – can’t wait till they’re all old enough to vote….
Aww. Just wait until they are all older, they will get on really well. I know that because I’m one of four and if Nintendo Wii’s had existed when I was growing up both of my brothers would have been hit round the head on more than one occasion! They are still likely to make very different choices in life, if my siblings are anything to go by. My sister is a teacher, that is probably the one job I could never do!!
Don’t forget, they all learn from and react to each other too, not just you as parents.
My two eldest couldn’t be more opposite (apart from their gender) but they have always been close. The youngest is close to both his brother and sister in his own way but it is very rare that the three of them are all laughing together.
My brother is the world’s biggest show off and, well, you’ve met me. But we get on really well. I think there is something, whether it’s genetic or just proximity, but it does create a bond. I think the whole fighting thing’s important. Teaches them about cooperation & negotiation or something. I would say the six year old upgrade is fine, but I’ve just watched him kick his brother in the head. They were both supposed to be asleep an hour ago…
I really wish there was a download or App I could add to the iphone, but I think we broke the mould after Mini was born. They fight and love with such ferocity and often in the same minute!
I love the idea that its a tiny bit of Big Brother – I’m still astounded that mine engage with each other and seem to like doing things together. Sure it will change but watching them interact is just fascinating for me
I’m one of three but with bigger gaps so its interesting seeing how a smaller gap works (or doesn’t…)
Lovely article – and very thought provoking. I do wonder if your OH is going to be purchasing PaulaV38 for Christmas? The programmers must have difficulty upgrading that one, what with the unique coding and all that 😉
LOL! Love the idea of Mini BB 🙂 I’m an only child too and have an only child, so I always think the same thing about my husband and his siblings. You couldn’t find a more diverse set of 3 people who share the same genes. Funny isn’t it? 🙂
Ha, loving the Boys v9 etc concept. I’m also an only child so the sibling relationship is a marvel and a mystery to me all at the same time. And, like you, I often ponder how my children can be ‘the same’ and yet so very different.
Just another challenge in this parenting ‘lark’. The rules just keep on changing…damn it. x
Mine too are very different. Oldest one is so sensitive and youngest is rough and tumble. I cant place where the youngest gets it from but the oldest gets it from me. I also cant wait till they are older and really showing their true characters.