This is a Blognonymous post.  The author wishes to remain anonymous but needs to tell his story.  He would really appreciate your advice and support.  Thank you


I know a young man who had it all. Tall, blond, handsome in a Brad Pitt/Robert Pattinson way and talented. He passed his 11+ with ease and went to one of the country’s finest Grammar schools where he cruised through his GCSEs and excelled at sport, playing rugby and cricket at the highest level. Being a modest almost shy boy he didn’t tell many, if any, that his favourite pastimes were badminton – he’d played for the same club since his mother, a county player in her youth, had introduced him aged 5 – and playing the piano. Of course, he did both with ease, grace and to a very high, sometimes breathtaking standard.

He was a lucky sod too. His parents loved to take holidays on small islands. Islands like Mauritius, Antigua and Barbados. His grandfather owned a sailing boat. He got invited to sail at Cowes and drive insanely fast boats well before he could drive a car. He visited Paris, Rome, Barcelona and Copenhagen. All of this he enjoyed but never took for granted and you would never know about unless it was forced out of him in conversation. You see he was above all a nice quiet, shy-ish, boy, gifted yet modest: a grandmother’s delight, his parents’ joy.

He is my eldest son. He is 17 and all this has gone.

For reasons that are complex – they always are – my son found himself the subject of persistent bullying earlier this year. A small group of boys at school, young men I suppose, found a weakness and worked at it with terrifying speed and callous disregard for the effect it was having on him. These boys’ actions somehow gave licence to others to pitch in and act as an echo that haunted my son at times when he thought he was clear of his tormentors. And so, quickly and surely, the boy who wouldn’t say boo to a goose didn’t say boo to these geese and suffered the consequences.

The result now is that the perpetrators have had their wrists slapped and my son has crumpled. His soul has been sucked from him and he has withdrawn from life. He missed so much of the last term that his ability to take his AS levels is now in serious doubt. His mind is so mangled that he hasn’t slept properly in months and is fighting a growing dependency on sleeping pills. Doctors are referring him to counsellors; counsellors are referring him to doctors. His small circle of friends is confused and inexperienced and unable to provide the mature support he needs. His exhaustion has put the rest of his life on hold as he withdraws from one club, team, sporting commitment after another which in turn creates another sort of pain: he hates to let people down.

He still plays the piano. Perhaps unsurprisingly he plays with an intensity that means his wonderful elegant style now has an emotional depth which can bring on the tears. It is music to move the heart.

The effect all this has had on his mother is dreadful. She is like a she-Wolf with a wounded cub, lashing out at the attackers and wanting to nurse her baby at the same time; confused, angry, afraid and dangerous. Her energy is waning too. “Worried sick” is a term we all use but seeing someone who is actually so worried they become ill is shocking. Of course, she knows that she can’t show any weakness in front of him so my role, among many, is to be the audience for her version of ‘night-terrors’.

She and I share stories of the days we spend at home or in offices when we can hardly concentrate, when our eyes are fully loaded with tears, when all we want to do is crawl away and scream or cry or both. Her baby, my son, our child is suffering a pain that we cannot kiss better, or cure with Calpol or get the nice nurse in A&E to bandage. We feel helpless.

Not everything is awful.

My youngest son, cheese to his brother’s chalk, has responded to our openness about his brother’s situation by being rock solid in his approach to life, the universe and everything. Helpful, cheery and every so often just plain thoughtful he is a joy, a total joy to have around. This is not callous cheeriness, this is a knowing, wise even, support. He too is special. Although his jokes are sometimes reason enough to reintroduce capital punishment.

The school has been good in responding to the situation. The Head of Year has been available, sympathetic and decisive in his actions. The master in charge of the examinations has been outstanding in the clarity of his explanations about the options available to us.

Friends and family have been generous with their time and practical in their support and advice.

No one wants to see our boy come out of this the loser.

“Wow! Talented-privileged-middle-class-kid-has-rough-time-at-school-and-feels-a-bit-sorry-for-himself. Well boo hoo.” I can hear it all now. And my thoughtful, honest, mature response? Screw you. This is a parent-child thing not a class, money or privilege thing. This is about how you nurture, love and care for your children with every fibre of your body, every day of their lives. This is about finding reserves of emotional strength that we never knew we had or would need to have. This is about realising that your baby is not a baby but a young adult and does need an approach that is different from the Calpol days. This is a deep long hard fight to make sure that this precious child still has what you have worked so long and so hard for – every opportunity to make the most of what he has. No parent should deny that. So screw you.

And underneath all my bottled up anger is the awful, terrible realisation that my own lifetime struggle with life-threatening depression is very probably a contributing, inherited, factor in my sons collapse. I feel connected, I feel responsible somehow.

And that is something I can’t bring myself to talk about with my wife. I can’t talk about it with anyone because this isn’t about me it’s about him. But it gnaws away at me, a taunting thought, teasing me, testing me, wanting me to respond with my own darkness. So far I have resisted. Not once have I shown any weakness, no sign that my own demons are dancing on my guilt. I cannot give in but, by God, the strength I have to find to control this is sometimes more than you can imagine. But I cannot talk about this. It is only, can only, must only be about him: my son. A young man who had it all.

And that is why I have written this.

The Boy who had it all (taken away from him)
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32 thoughts on “The Boy who had it all (taken away from him)

  • April 21, 2011 at 8:35 am

    As a retired head teacher I am so saddened by this excellently written post. I dreaded being told about bullying for fear that our (the school’s) actions would make it worse. The results were always the same – loss of something wonderful – even if it was only a child away from school for a few days. I am glad I could never see the scares that some of my pupils now carry. I wish there was an easy answer for pupils, parents & schools. Thank you for sharing.

  • April 21, 2011 at 8:49 am

    The fact that your son is middle-class and talented makes not a jot of difference to my sympathy for him. No child – or teen – ought to be reduced to a mere shadow by bullying. Those that take that unsympathetic line are basically saying bullying is okay. It’s not. My own son comes in for a lot of flack because he’s tall, geeky and gentle. It’s not okay for him either. I hope that your son can come through this dark period and find some peace in life after school/college. There is life after depression, and in surviving depression, you can gain a deeper emotional maturity and greater appreciation for life. Best of luck to him and you all xxx

  • April 21, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your sad story. I will be praying for you all and I truly hope your boy manages to heal with time and find his joy again.

    Mich x

  • April 21, 2011 at 9:10 am

    Your post is so wonderfully written and has had a profound effect on me. I work with excluded children, some of them bullies, some of them having been bullied and withdrawn from school and it saddens me that both do not get the help they need until too late. I have just completed a wonderful art therapy course at the British Association of Art therapists in London. As a person prone to depression myself, I must say what a wonderful and life changing experience this was both professionally and personally. It sounds like your son would really benefit from seeing a music therapist who could use his talents to help him work through his pain.Linking back to creativity is now increasingly recognised by the NHS, CAMHS and schools as an effective way to increase wellbeing.It seems that you use writing as a form of therapy yourself.
    Taking A’levels is a stressful time for anybody. Your son could go back to them at a different college next year.
    I wish him well

  • April 21, 2011 at 9:20 am

    What a very moving and sad post. Do you know any of the other parents? Could you go and see them to explain the situation??

    YOu say this happens at school so why not get your son involved in something out of school such as Youth Orchestra so he can meet new friends with a common interest??

    Good luck xx

  • April 21, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Gosh this is absolutely awful. I’m heartbroken for all of you. He (and his mum) are so lucky to have you. I hope you can help him see that there is life after this and he has a bright and fabulous future ahead of him, despite the actions of a few vile little shits. Good luck to you all x

  • April 21, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Shit. Well, first off you made me cry.

    My advice is a little tough-love-ish, but it’s just my humble opinion.

    I can see that you want to take responsiblity for your son’s depression and anxiety, I’m sorry, you can’t do that, it’s illogical, you are not liable for your child’s DNA. You’ll have to help him another way. Carry on keeping it together. It strikes me that you have managed to live with your depression, though it’s been tough. I have a line of thought, bear with me… your experience with depression could be an advantage. What I’m thinking is about this episode of Embrassing Illnesses (bear with me, I’m going somewhere with this)…. there was this 17-year-old who had just been diagnosed with diabetes. It had brought him down, he’d given up sports (rugby, which he loved) and all sorts and was finding it difficult to cope. In some sort of stroke of sheer genius, Dr Jessen sent him for a training session with a pro rugby player, who had played for England. And at the end of the session the player revealed he was diabetic too and they had an open chat about it… you could see the kids eyes widen – he realised that someone else was living with this condition, could get through it. So he went back to sports and coped much better generally. Meeting someone who’s got through it helped. I’m not suggesting your child’s issues are that simple, but maybe if you talk with him about your illness it could help. Here’s a BRILLIANT article on depression that might help him realise he’s not alone Search “it gets better” on youtube as well, send them to him. The Pixar and Obama ones are excellent – it’s sort of aimed at gay teens, but to be honest I think every bullied child can relate. Really, really good.

    In terms of therapeutic options…. well, first of all some therapists are better than others, maybe you should ask to be referred elsewhere if things are not working out with your current team. I expect you’re more of an expert than me in the treatment of anxiety, but here’s a great article on it – you may have to register to read it, but it’s free, and worth it.

    In terms of school, read this for starters: . You know what’s best for him, in your gut. My personal opinion is screw school just now, his health is more important. It doesn’t sound like he’s in a good place to tackle his AS levels anyway, and considering they’ll have a major impact on his uni place (should he choose to go, degrees are expensive and dont’ have the value they once did) buggering them up would be a not good thing. As you know. I’d let him off the hook, send him on some work experience instead, send him to his grandparents, or to pick fruit in France. And look seriously at other schools/colleges – I don’t give a shit how good you think the school are, the teachers sound great, but the fact is he’s miserable there. The effort *he* is able to put into his A-levels is FAR more important than how posh his school is. Truly.

    I hope you all get through this, I hope it all gets better. Please write about how it goes x

  • April 21, 2011 at 10:48 am

    I am terrified of bullying for my children – I was horribly bullied in school and am terrified that my girl will be too. And my son. On top of this I’d say get counselling and/ or help yourself – for both of you. Those caring for those with depression also need help.

  • April 21, 2011 at 10:49 am

    And of course – I am so sorry for you and your family and your son. I truely hope he will pull through and be all he can be.

  • April 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    What a wonderfully written post. I cannot offer advice only add my name to the support for you here.
    Sending much love your way – Helen x

  • April 21, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Such a sad situation for all of you. Is there a friend you can talk to about how *you* are feeling? You and your wife are supporting your son (wonderfully from what you’ve described), you are supporting your wife but you need to talk to someone as well. I understand when you say that it has to be about him, not you and of course it does but..and there’s often a but…bullying doesn’t just effect the person being bullied, it effects the family and friends of the person being bullied too.

    It sounds like your fears are taking more energy to keep in check, the feeling of responsibility growing and they need to be aired. I do understand the fear, it is one I have about me and my daughter, but you are also in a good position to help him find the path out. But to do that you need to have support yourself, a space to talk and a space to find the strength to keep battling your own darkness to help him. I wish you and your family the best of luck x

  • April 21, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    How I understand and truly feel your pain. -As a parent the only job you are compelled to do is protect support your child. Our experience similar but different resulted in no sleep forthe entire householdm with a child regressed to 3year old behaviour(normal apprently after huge traumtic incident). Thankfully no social service intervention for you. This makes you accountable for the results of anothers actions you are treated like the perPetrators of the intial crime(s) not the victims. The recovery is a long and slow one our only ambition now waiting on a happpy sunny child

  • April 21, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    We went through a similar experience when our son was in the first year of his
    school. Fortunately it was dealt with very swiftly but whenever I think of those
    little shits it makes me angry, so I totally understand what you’re going

    Your son is 17, and he has the opportunity to turn this around. There aren’t
    many weeks left at school now – if he really can’t go through with his AS
    levels, it may be worth removing him and considering an alternative sixth form;
    or simply letting him go in for his lessons/the exams only, and than
    transferring him for the upper sixth. He has the long summer for you to help
    rebuild his self-esteem so that he takes the power back over his life. Give him
    something that will help build his confidence so that he is as fit mentally,
    emotionally and physically as he can possibly be. Once you remove the power from
    bullies, so that they can no longer belittle or torment you, they crumble like

    Meanwhile, I would urge you to seek some counselling (if you haven’t already).
    Depression doesn’t necessarily run in the family (I’m the daughter of a systemic
    therapist) but you may feel better just talking your fears through to someone
    from outside the family – try the UKCP.

  • April 21, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Probably a stupid question but have you asked him what might make it better? I think there’s no one answer, it’s different for everyone. Does he need to come away from the situation for a while? Delay A levels? Change schools? I hated college, I was miserable & depressed. Something drastic should have been done because I spent my entire 20s playing career catch up thanks to dropping my grades. They are the most important 2 years of a child’s education. He needs to be in the right frame of mind. But the answer may lie with him? You may have tried asking him what he wants. I just don’t remember anyone asking me what would make it better. Good luck, I hope you work it out.

  • April 21, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    I really feel for you and your family, what a terrible thing to happen.

    The “it gets better” anti-bullying project on youtube is a great thing for him to watch, especially the pixar one: (there are loads, just search “it gets better”)

    My personal opinion is that if you all feel he’s heading for diaster in attempting his AS levels just now, then maybe he is. I would head it off at the pass, divert him from these exams just now. After all, there’s no law saying they must be taken age 17 or else, he’s just a baby and he’ll probably benefit by going to uni a little more mature. While I was at university I did notice that more mature students did do a whole lot better by the way, both academically and socially. I’d concentrate on getting him healthier and helping him to rebuild his life at the moment.

    Your family are lucky to have you, stay strong x

  • April 21, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    As someone who had a rough time at school, this post really hits a nerve. I’m going to echo Liz’s comment and urge you to seek counselling. For you and your son. Those invisible scars were with me for years, until I had some counselling for depression and anxiety that helped me to recognise the impact my experience at school had had on me and after talking it through I found I was much better able to deal with it and move on (or at least come to terms with it a bit more).

  • April 21, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    No advice to offer as I’ve never been in that situation and I hope my kids never will be. Just letting you know that you and your family have the support of the majority of people who wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. Hope your son can find some peace and get back on with his life.

  • April 21, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    Bullying is something done by others who feel inferior to you. Your son was a threat to them and so they reacted the only way bullies know how: they tried to intimidate him. At 17 he is old enough to understand this and he sounds intelligent enough too. If you go down the road of sleeping tablets, counselling etc. it is making it seem even bigger a deal.
    I am not being heartless as I have been there. I have been bullied much of my life and some still try to do it. From 16 it started and I never allowed them to win. Yes, it hurt, it still does and I’m now 56, but the way to get over it is to not let them win. They are revelling in the fact he is in a state. Tell him to put it behind him and rise above them. He is a threat to them. If he wasn’t important, they wouldn’t have done it. They were actually the ones who felt threatened. Let him see this. The ones who still try to intimidate me and bully me are angered by the fact I ignore them and have a full life while theirs is empty.
    His music is something that can help. Also tell him from me. Life is very hard and the best lessons in life are the hardest to bear. If we have the strength to overcome them, we end up much better people. Look back in life, the lessons we learned were all from bad or horrid things. The nice times never taught us anything. They were there to soften the blows.
    He is handsome, clever, talented and has a wonderful family. He has much to be grateful for. Bullies will only bully those they envy or feel intimidated by. Try to turn it around and make him realise how they must actually look up to him to feel so threatened. Give him back his confidence and let him move forwards. Counselling will make it seem as though everything is worse than it is and make him (or keep him) a victim. He is NOT a victim, he is a survivor and that’s what he needs to be told. He can’t keep being made to think he is a victim still. Trust me, I really do know I promise you.
    It’s happened, it’s over.

    Today is the first day of the rest of his life.What’s past is past and can’t hurt him again unless he gives it permission to. He is a SURVIVOR tell him to hold his head high and be proud of himself. He gave into them for a brief spell, but he isn’t going to any more. He can now see how they are the sad ones with nothing. He is the lucky one with everything.
    Give him my love and wish him well. xx

  • April 21, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    I have no advice to offer as I’ve never been in this situation, but I simply wanted to offer my support. Your son deserves respect and help no less than any other child in his situation. I would also echo what others have said: find someone to talk to about your own feelings – you’ll be much more help to your son once you have got over your own emotional hurdles.

  • April 22, 2011 at 6:23 am

    Why does everyone in Britain today run for counselling? He doesn’t need counselling, he needs some common sense, kindness and to be moved from the situation and made to realise life is hard, bullies are all around us, but we are beeter than them. He is 17, he isn’t a small child. Make him stand up to them and turn his back. We are becoming a nation of wimps. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh but look at the reality of this. People come back from wars, lived through wars and they didn’t have counselling and they are the best survivors out there.
    People have had children murdered, had houses burn down and lose everything, survive earthquakes. I know a woman and her children who have just come through the Christchurch earthquakes. They have lost everything. They are coping incredibly well. There are huge things going on in life and we need to learn to cope with what life throws at us not sit back and feel sorry for ourselves.
    How we cope with things early in life is what makes the man or woman later.
    I had three children. There has always been bulling at school, work everywhere. He does not need counselling, he needs someone to talk common sense and make him get up and over it and walk tall. Take him down the path everyone is advising here and you’ll make him a man who will never face up to the harsher realities of life. It isn’t harsh, it’s the truth.
    I took on a child who was very pyschologically disturbed because of far, far worse than you can imagine. I got him through it and he is now in a top job earning a fortune. When I came into his life he couldn’t cope with life at all as everyone was telling him he needed counselling and had had a tragic life- having heard that said so often, he actually used to say to people, “I’ve had a tragic life you know.”It only took me about 6 months to get him over what they had made him for the last few years. is that what you want for your son to be told he’s a victim all his life?

  • April 22, 2011 at 7:12 am

    This is so beautifully written and so moving. As a parent I can’t imagine what you must be feeling or how much anguish this is causing. But as a someone who suffered depression and bullying as a teenager I think that, as many others have said here, your son needs some form of counselling. Just talking about the situation helps enormously. And at 17, if he can get through his exams, he has the opportunity to get out of the situation by going to uni or into work. It’s small consolation right now but there is a visible end to it. But he does need to speak to someone, anyone – you or your wife or a counsellor or teacher or someone who will just sit and listen.
    My heart goes out to you all it’s a horrible time. But I hope things get better, and soon x

  • April 22, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    As the mother of a 17 year old who has experienced bullying (from a variety of sources) I can totally sympathise. My boy, whilst very intelligent, now lacks confidence and conviction, much preferring to be an expert at X-Box games. He turns on his heel when he sees a group of lads coming towards him and would much rather run the long way home than have to walk past them. They are, more often than not, a group of lads he doesn’t know. He just doesn’t want to place himself in any type of situation that may put him in danger.

    I wouldn’t panic too much about exams – if he has to wait one year or ten years to resit, then so what. It’s just a slightly different life path to the one that was expected or planned. It’s good to hear that the school is supporting you now but there are external agencies (not doctors, I’m thinking more of places like CXL/Connexions) that can help too if you ask the school to point you in the right direction.

  • April 22, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    I disagree with skeptical medium, counselling helped me. But you need to find the right person. It was third time lucky for me. Yes you have to make a decision at some point to pull yourself together. But when you are really low, you sometimes don’t have the strength. Counselling can give people that strength & you know what? My counsellor didn’t tell me there was something wrong with me. She told me the opposite, that I was worthwhile! She gave me the strength to pull myself together. You can’t pull yourself together if all your fight has gone.

  • April 22, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    Thank you to everyone who has visited, read and commented so far. Your support and goodwill is much appreciated.

    Paula x

  • April 22, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I’m not sure if this is within the rules of Blognonymous so I wait for the wrath of Paula if I transgress!

    I approached Paula and Blognonymous because I needed an outlet. I write everyday and it is my surest form of expression but without a purpose, a readership, even an invisible one it can lack the catharsis that I was looking for. I so needed to get it off my chest and am deeply grateful for the chance this co-operative has provided. Thank you.

    Your comments have been a revelation. I am so very grateful for the responses, the advice, the support and the links and suggestions. Most of all I am grateful that anyone has taken the time to stop and respond to what is after all just another rant. Well, its not but you know what I mean. What has surprised me is power of response/advice that is untainted by friendship but driven by compassion. Sometimes people can be too close.

    I am grateful too for A Sceptical Medium for have the courage of her (sorry, I assume ‘her’) convictions to set out a message of tough love. Yours is a necessary reminder that we need diversity in our advice: it keeps us healthy. I think you raise a number of issues which are hugely important. I don’t disagree with much of what you write although I think we can be a little too ‘muscular’ in our reflections on the past. Society and the relationships that form our communities have changed fundamentally in the last two generations and while modern (western) man seeks the comfort of a counsellor it is, perhaps, because the Vicar, Priest, Uncle or Grandparent is no longer part of the tight fabric of life that provided support for previous generations. We have always needed, sought and benefited from wise counsel.

    My wife, son and I have some big decisions to make in the next few days. If Paula hasn’t struck me down 🙂 I’ll see if she will let me do a short update in six months.

    Thank you everyone. You’be been brilliant.

    Father of The Boy

  • April 22, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    I wish you the world of luck and thank you for understanding why I said what I did and how. I sent Paula a very private e-mail and if she still has it, she has my permission to show it to you so you will understand why I say what I do. Good luck with the future. Lorraine xxx

  • April 25, 2011 at 8:06 am

    I don’t have any experience or advice to offer from a parent’s perspective, as my daughter is only 10 months old. But I did experience bullying myself in my first year of secondary school and know my parents felt as you do now. It was their love and support that helped me most at the time, even though the school dealt with the situation quickly. My Mum and Dad taught me to be a strong person, proud of who I am and with a strong sense of my own identity (ironically this was probably something that made me a target for this group of girls in the first place). You and your wife sound like amazingly supportive parents for your boy. All I can say is continue being the steady and loving parents you already are. I’ll be thinking of you and wishing your son the strength to get through it.

  • April 28, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    I can relate to this as a child who was bullied, and as an adult who struggles with depressive episodes due to illness. I worry that my kids may have similar struggles and am terrified about my eldest child heading to Secondary School in September, but the advice and compassion here is amazing and I hope it truly helps you all. Your boy sounds like a fabulous young man, and he will come through this, but it’s ok to get help too. Also, don’t be so hard on yourself. You do need someone to talk to and a good counsellor would add a valuable perspective that will only add strength to your support of your son and your wife. Take care.

  • May 5, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Having been bullied and lived with the emotional scars I think you are doing a wonderful thing and I wish I had a magic wand to wave to make this better

    I echo the idea to look at alternatives for school – in the long run it doesn’t matter if he takes a year out now or later, in fact at least one public 6th form used to take entrants at 17 and let them have time out after GCSEs – it won’t make a difference in the longer run and may give him time allow him to discover new options

    Wishing you and your family all the best in getting through this

  • May 13, 2011 at 8:50 am

    You have my genuine sympathy. My daughter was severely bullied at school and we didn’t catch on until we had to break her door down one morning because she wouldn’t come out of her room. From that point on, we met absolute ignorance and denial from a school that only the year before had boasted its ‘anti-bullying’ charter.

    The headmaster refused to help because he was overly friendly with parents – some of whose children were directly responsible for my daughter’s situation. Parents refused to speak with me because we were the ‘incomers’ and they banded together. I watched my wonderful, clever, intelligent, beautiful, academically enthusiastic daughter reduced to someone I hardly recognised and this makes a parent feel both murderous and powerless at the same time. You apply logic only to learn that different logics apply in the school playground and in the online world. You snap and suddenly you’re the perpetrator.

    You say things to your child like: ‘you will get through this’ and ‘you’ll be stronger for what you have had to go through.’ Such glib utterings. And yet. My daughter got a first class degree from a prestigious university. Given that she had the required grades, she got in on the back of her personal statement. One in which she didn’t paint herself as a victim but as someone who eventually fought her way through. Her aim in life (her degree is in law) is to always fight for a fairer way. I am proud of her beyond words.

    The hardest words she ever spoke broke my heart. ‘I cannot be who I really am here,’ she said. She wasn’t allowed to be smart and interested in her studies. Musical. Confident. Everything that made her the wonderful individual that she was (is) in our eyes, was precisely what made her prey to vicious bullies raised in a culture of ignorance.

    I have never really left a comment anywhere online before but your writing, beautifully, moved me to tears. If I have any advice to give it is to to find something outwith school to challenge and excite him. For my daughter it was music and my husband drove a three hour journey twice a week for her to participate in a theatre group that today still plays a big part in her life.

    Your writing should be distributed to every head teacher in this land. Thankyou for sharing and my hope for you as a family is that you find your way through.

  • May 13, 2011 at 10:05 am

    And this is powerful:
    ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’ Marianne Williamson (and quoted by Nelson Mandella on his release from prison)

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