Ok I know it’s an obvious one after the #leadershipdebate but I had to get this one down.  I’ve been struggling to assimilate what I learned last night and thought this might help.

So, in summary:

  • Clegg, who was quite possibly ginger as a child, missed the section of the public presenting course where they tell you never to stand with your hands in your pockets.  Those who thought he had an overconfident manner obviously didn’t see the below the line action.
  • DavCam has suspiciously smooth, pink skin and a possible hankering for pastel sweaters slung carelessly over his shoulders #justsaying
  • GB has a deep-seated fear of male grooming and obviously scarpered half way through the eyebrow wax, leaving one side perceivably more hirsute than t’other.

The quick thinkers amongst you will note that all of my observations are exactly that…..it’s all about the visuals.  They say nothing about the true nature of the man or, more importantly, his party politics. Our leadership battle has been turned into a superficial fright-fest and they’ve even dragged the wives along for the ride.

This wouldn’t have happened in Maggie’s day- can you imagine seeing Dennis, pimped, blinged and decked out in Nicole Farhi while the Mail rated his outfits? Of course he was there occasionally, but he wasn’t the main attraction. It’s laudable that our politicians have become so MOR that we’re forced to use their partners as distinguishing features.

Or maybe it’s just me? Because beyond my three keen-eyed observations, the rest of the debate was just noise.  I was unable to decipher anything that was actually being said. The three stooges appeared to agree and disagree simultaneously and when Clegg said “this is a phony debate” it was the first time I felt like applauding.

I’ll reveal further ignorance by telling you that when I pick up my voting slips and sidle over to my ‘booth’, I always scan the list for familiar names and it always disappoints me that they’re not there.  It frustrates  me beyond belief that I don’t actually get to vote for the prime ministerial candidate!

There are lots of things that I enjoy about the whole circus though.  The billboards are fantastic- pure theatre.  The Guardian’s April Fool was a little piece of genius, I almost wished it were true.  My only complaint is that it doesn’t go on long enough.  We’re expected to sit through a summer watching 12 numpties picking their noses 24/7 and yet in a couple more  weeks the most important event of the year will be all over.

You know what I’m thinking don’t you? That’s right, let’s push the election back, August 22nd has a nice ring to it.  Give the BB house a good  clean – is Vinnie Jones available with his marigolds? And send in three very special guests for 6 weeks of live, unscripted debate.  Then the veils would fall and we’d see what we’ve been wanting to see all along.

Of course they’d need some company.  I’m going to send in Bonnie Greer and Charlotte Church but there’s still room for 7 more – who would you chuck into the mosh pit?

Day 8 in the Big Brother house…

17 thoughts on “Day 8 in the Big Brother house…

  • April 16, 2010 at 9:07 am

    oooh, good question… can we put David Tennant in their? #justaskin

  • April 16, 2010 at 9:09 am

    and Jeremy Clarkson. not for same reasons as David, just because I think he’d be funny.

  • April 16, 2010 at 9:17 am

    he’s not busy is he? And he let us down last year, so deffo!

  • April 16, 2010 at 9:18 am

    absolutely! He’d be excellent, although he might need the Hamster and May to back him up in a fight 😉

  • April 16, 2010 at 9:35 am

    Your descriptions make me feel tired lol, not that debates are any better where I live either!! Jen.

  • April 16, 2010 at 10:10 am

    I really do try to follow them….I want to make an informed decision, but it’s all so polished and fake. I’d rather they rolled up their sleeves and fought it out! x

  • April 16, 2010 at 10:23 am

    Can we put Gene Hunt into the house, he would sort all the numpties out. Didn’t watch the debate as I too think that it is all noise.

  • April 16, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Billy Connelly would do some straight talking & would be interesting to watch!

    BTW – not getting email alerts anymore:(

  • April 16, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Frankie Boyle…..Tom Paulin…

  • April 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    Ooh yes to Gene Hunt…loverly…and *ahem* yes he would sort everyone out wouldn’t he 😉

  • April 16, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Excellent choice….hopefully emails sorted now 🙂

  • April 16, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I admit I had to google Tom Paulin and LOL I can see why you made that choice. Frankie would be filthy but funny, I might throw in Rhod Gilbert to complete the trinity… 🙂

  • April 16, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Nooo! I couldn’t handle it lasting til August! I have to avoid certain friends due to our huge political differences, can’t be avoiding them for months. Plus, I can’t handle to Tory bashing for that long! Roll on May 6th, I say!

  • April 16, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    LOL Livi, nothing wrong with a bit of healthy debate! x

  • April 17, 2010 at 8:09 am

    I know it’s important to vote, but whatever I do vote we’ll end up true blue round our way anyway. Listen everybody, whatever DC says, the core Conservative belief is, “I’ll look after me and mine, you look after you and yours.” So if you earn lots of money and have private everything and resent paying a penny of tax, they’re the party of choice. This will surely never change.

    Besides, I have this sinking feeling that whoever wins, we’re b***ered. I’ll stop now before I start beating my drum in a truly frenzied fashion.

  • April 17, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    Loving the suggestion of Gene Hunt 😀

    I’d put Madge from Benidorm in there 😉

    Loving your take on this 🙂

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Hello lovely, glad to see you’ve taken your soapbox with you en vacances. You may well be right, but we still have to get out there and make ourselves heard, you never know what might happen! x

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