It’s a beautiful day today.  My family have all just popped up to the park for a run around, my house looks like it has just been spewed from the hell-mouth and all I want to do is write my blog.

I’ve always had an ongoing internal dialogue but, largely, I’ve managed to push it away during normal working hours, engaging with the real world and only giving in on solitary drives or long baths.

Blogging has changed all of that.  It has amplified my thoughts, allowing them to crash through the firewall and interrupt every activity.  I fill scraps of paper with sentences or phrases so I don’t forget them, grab 10 minutes when everyone is otherwise engaged to purge myself and try and hold myself back from the keyboard.  But the conversations keep piling up.

What’s the answer? Do I keep going until I burn out or get bored?  Will that time come?

What about you- are you a selfish blogger? Can you take it or leave it or are you just the tiniest bit obsessive?

You Selfish B*%@^er
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46 thoughts on “You Selfish B*%@^er

  • April 17, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    oooh tiniest littlest bit but make sure housework not kids gets neglected and TBH I always neglected that a bit before! x

  • April 17, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    I am a bit obsessive having decided to do a daily blog since 1st November last year following Richard Herring’s challenge in his 7 year daily blog; I am also selfish as I blog only about what I want to blog about rather than what any reader may want to read!!

  • April 17, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    i do most of my writing when the kids have gone to bed so i can concentrate and not ignore them. I love blogging it really helps get things off my chest and the friends that i’ve made from it are amazing!

  • April 17, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    I used to be a little obsessive – certainly I spent a lot of time thinking about what to write on my blog (I called it my Blogger Filter on Life) but I have never written more than a couple of times a week. I did feel, once I had used my blog to kind of sort out my head and spew forth a lot of the stuff that was spinnning in my head, that the Blogger Filter was not always good, was not a great way to see life, was perhaps distancing myself from real things, events and people a bit. Plus I did run out of steam – after two years I often suffered writing block and did begin to see the Same Old Stuff crop up on other blogs and see people go through the same thoughts about blogging itself.

    I have stepped away from blogging to a large degree these days and I am glad that I have. Blogging was a fab thing for me and I will always be thankful to it – for giving me space to write, for the friendships I have made – but I don’t need it these days and my days swirl by full of other stuff.

    Just be careful is all I would say – blogging is good and real – but Real Life should ALWAYS come first (except when Real Life feels crap and needs to be hidden from for a bit – but only ever for a bit).

  • April 17, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    I am trying not to allow it to come before my RL, but sometimes I need to spurt it all out and better out than in. I have loads of draft posts which I start but dont finnish.

  • April 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to write. Ideas come and go, even when interacting with family and friends. Maybe make it a practice to carry a small notebook and pen so it’s handy when you want to jot something down. That way you still enjoy the people who share your life. When you have alone time to write you already have ideas ready for development, there, in that notebook.

  • April 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    At least for me right now, it is helping me get my life and what I want to do with myself and my perspectives into proportions.

    I do find myself neglecting other things though-need to find moderation….

  • April 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Well, you are well aware of my increased addiction to blogging! I am restricted in the evenings as I put that time aside for my OH. He is happy for me to blog but doesn’t understand & would feel neglected.
    Had an interesting situation yesterday. Decided to do a post for a series someone is setting up. No hurry for it but couldn’t get the thing out of my mind to the point it gave me a terrible headache. Just had to get it down & send it off! So… a tiny bit obsessive maybe!!

  • April 17, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    Tiny bit? What comes after tiny but before massively obsessed? I am somewhere in the middle. I have that internal dialogue too, sometimes to the point where I don’t realise that I haven’t spoken a thought out loud and wonder why the person I am talking to is lost 😀 Hey, I find myself to be good company lol. Glad you made it here for a few mins today:) Jen.

  • April 17, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    I enjoy blogging. I like the daily diary. I suppose I am obsessive because I insist on blogging everyday – but who cares? 😉

  • April 17, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    As you’ve pointed out, my blog is becoming very personal – an extension of me in fact, but it’s been a massive help with the structure of my writing – even I can see differences in pieces I wrote at the end of last year to now.

    However, with me working full time, there are occasions that I think of something or experience something that NEEDS writing about but I just can’t because of having to work – annoyingly, it’s usually something current and by the time I get chance to blog/write about it, it’s been covered in 5 other blogs.

    I have a section in my Filofax (yes, that again) that is dedicated only to my writing – scribble pages, titles, ideas, “buzz words” – I have to or I’d be the same with scraps of paper all over the place and I’d just end up losing them.

    Can you imagine what I’m going to be if I ever start my book???

  • April 17, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    I am obsessive because it is an extension of my writing, which I am also obsessive about. I see it as writing practice, a clearing of the mind…and I love it!

  • April 17, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    My housework definitely gets neglected in favour of blogging. I’m probably a wee bit obsessed – although there’s not much point attempting to write posts when the kids are around – they just interrupt all the time, which makes me fed up, which isn’t fair on the kids – so I don’t bother. Ido sometimes sneakily read other peoples posts and reply to comments when the kids are watching the telly though.

  • April 18, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    I’m definitely obsessive, and I find myself caught between husband and kids. I blog when the children are watching TV, and have definitely been guilty of letting them watch too much just so I can carry on. My OH claims he doesn’t mind me blogging in the evenings, but I know he does. So I snatch the odd half hour here and there. Sometimes I feel guilty and the housework certainly gets neglected (but it’s always been neglected, there’s never a good enough reason to do it) but I do feel that it’s great to write every day. If I want to be a professional writer, which I do, then I have to practise. That’s what I tell myself anyway. There could be worse things for us to be obsessed by…

  • April 18, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    I suppose everyone blogs for different reasons. Why do some people keep a diary other than to know what they need to do next week (I really should have a diary so I know what to do next week).

    Personally, I tried blogging a couple of years ago and didn’t have the time to stick at it. Again twelve months ago I revived my blog for a specific piece that was very cathartic, but didn’t lead to regular blogging.

    This time round though I have found a good reason or two to become a more regular blogger. One is that I have a specific interest that at the moment I need to vent my spleen about. The other big reason is a little hard to describe. In my professional life I was a thinker. However, for the last few months, the thinking element of my role was no longer needed. I was happy to coast for a while but then I realised that I needed to break the chain. So I enrolled on some on line training, and took up my blog again. The on line training gave my thinking a structure again, but the blog allowed my thinking to go a bit freestyle (you may think its formulaic, but in my world it counts as anarchy).

    Who knows, if my professional life gets back on track my blog may suffer but then again, maybe that’s when I’ll find I’m addicted.

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:30 am

    It’s a tough balance to find….I’m deffo guilty of the “I’ll be there in a minute” five times before I actually go. BTW, I’ve ordered that book on your recommendation- I’m preparing to have my life transformed! x

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:33 am

    That’s quite a challenge, I’ve come to (almost) daily blogging in a round about way but I definitely get twitchy if I can’t get near it these days. I think you should only blog about what you want to, be authentic and the readers will come (and go) in my experience 🙂

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:36 am

    That is the fantastic (and unexpected) aspect of it. When I started I had no idea about the community aspect of it. At first I was writing into a void and it took a while to find a place where I felt at home. I love it too and I agree, it’s a really good place to vent and release. x

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:39 am

    Thank you – wise words indeed and something I needed to hear. You don’t pop up for ages, then you turn up and say just the right thing 🙂 xx

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Oh me too! Loads that are part written in WP and loads that might not even make it that far. There are definitely times when it has enhanced my RL: helping me deal with issues that a second, third, fourth etc opinion was invaluable but it is important not to neglect your loved ones x

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:43 am

    That’s exactly the advice that I give out and yet neglect to do it for myself….maybe a trip to Smiths this afternoon! Thanks 🙂

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:49 am

    I think it’s easily done, especially in the early days….I’m not being patronising there as I see myself at the same point…it’s all so new and suddenly there’s this great platform to use for self-expression, and it feels like we’ve got to do it all yesterday.

    I guess, as newdaynewlesson says, it’s about finding a balance, moderating (even enforced moderating) to ensure that we don’t neglect everything else xx

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    *phew* glad you said that – it’s one of those things you type and then think “that makes me sound completely mental”. I don’t know what comes in between – a slippery slope maybe? x

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    If you’ve got the time and it affects no one else then there’s surely no problem is there? If I had no other responsibilities I think I’d spend my days wrapped in a slanket reading and writing, with pencils stuck in my hair and a collection of mugs on my desk…..actually that’s pretty much the picture here – that’s why I’ve got a problem! 😉

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    I think we need to start a commune, where all of our families can keep each other company while we huddle round our laptops mumbling incoherently and reaching for our thesaurus every 10 minutes or so… xx

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    I love it too, really, really love it! But I am becoming worryingly addicted xx

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    All hail the iphone…. waiting outside school for the kids, whilst watching them swim, whilst making dinner etc etc. I love that I can keep up that way, although it’s hopeless for commenting so I have to try and remember to go back later and that doesn’t always happen. I do think it’s important to grasp that time for yourself, but equally it’s finding the balance that I struggle with 😉

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    Very true….I never considered myself to have an addictive personality. With everything else in life I can pretty much take it or leave it (except chocolate, natch) but not with this. The more I think about it, the more I think it’s part of starting to reclaim ‘me’. Three kids, busy house, WAHM, no time to think but blogging makes me feel like me and helps me balance my thoughts. That means that when I’m with my family I’m happier and ‘cleansed’ of my internal wranglings. Sorted! x

  • April 19, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    That really resonates with the conclusion I’m coming to. That it’s not necessarily a time of life thing, but certainly a vehicle to move onto a different stage of life, or enable you to put something behind you.

    Your cathartic post is obviously very important – you cannot change events and it’s important to make sense of the residual feelings you have, more so if you want to continue to campaign in any sense.

    I always knew that I loved writing but more than that I’ve discovered that I love the engagement that comes from blogging. The fact that people comment and spark different thoughts in me is amazing….I can’t see my enjoyment for that waning but I do need to manage my time better! 🙂

  • April 20, 2010 at 6:01 am

    Obsessive. I blame you. Unremittingly. 🙂

    In fact, I resent having to break off from blogging to write this comment. Your fault again.

    Seriously, I am completely ensnared. I enjoy the creative process, I like that others like what I write, and both those facts spur me to keep up the output. An obsession with blog stats doesn’t help matters. It means ignoring the tuts and rolled eyes from OH who is beginning to suspect I am bio-engineered to the laptop.

  • April 20, 2010 at 11:07 am

    I am an incredibly selfish blogger – utterly addicted! My head goes crazy with posts and am often awake at night because I can’t switch my brain off. There just aren’t enough hours in the day for me to get it all down on screen. But it’s fantastic as it’s become a total passion. I don’t get paid for it but I feel it has become my job – the first one in all my years that I’m passionate about. But that’s because it’s about clothes and shoes. Oops… selfish and shallow… hey ho!
    p.s. I don’t know if I didn’t realise you had a blog or had forgotten but how lovely! Now I can witter onto you here as well as Twitter!

  • April 20, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    What can I say? I’m an inspiration! 😉

    LOL at being bio-engineered to the laptop….I *dream* of owning a laptop, a beautiful little (well, 17″) macbook that I can take with me everywhere.

  • April 20, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    LOL, I don’t think it’s selfish or shallow, esp when you are writing tailored posts for the likes of me 😉

    I’m a bit the same though, it’s crazy but has become a real need. Sadly my life is filled with much more pressing needs!

    Thanks for finding me- feel free to pop in anytime x

  • April 20, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Me? Obsessed? Leaving all the housework to the last minute and the rushing around like a mad thing before the husband comes home so it doesnt look like I’ve on the computer all day?

    Nah. not me. take it or leave it.


  • April 21, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    *ahem* that’s exactly how I see you…..and I take my inspiration from it! x

  • April 21, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    It’s all about moderation isn’t it? I’m desperately trying to find some but the blogging is really important to me right now – I don’t really know why. Glad that it’s working for you too 🙂

  • April 21, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    I have really loved reading this post and all the comments. I just started blogging (well in Jan) and I have over that time seen my life completely change! But I see it for the better. I am suddenly doing something I really enjoy and for me. It’s easy to get lost in motherhood & marriage and forget what you need. I was quite down about things last year and didn’t know how to get out of the rut I felt I was trapped in. My blog has literally saved me! I feel so much more positive about life and even though at times I know it’s taking me away from my responsibilites I feel good about that too! Like I am playing hookie. My kids and hubby moan about it at times but mostly I think they are proud of me. I love being able to share what I am writing about with my 17 yr old daughter. I want her to know that her mom has other talents!
    Not sure if that answers your question! LOL x

  • April 21, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Sounds like we’re on a similar path Heather. January was the point that I started in earnest too…before that it was the odd post here and there and I had no real idea what it was all about. It’s amazing what a positive effect something that seems so simple and trivial can have, and yet I agree with you completely, it makes a massive difference. So I guess we’re all addicted together – hey ho! x

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  • April 22, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    it is addictive, and I know what you mean about it amplyifying thoughts. In one way, I use mine to write lots of things I wouldn’t / couldn’t say that I need to work through and in that respect it processes the thoughts and helps me ‘let go’ but it also encourages the voice in my head which now spends a lot of time wondering what to ‘process’ next.

  • May 5, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    What’s wrong with a little “obsession?’ Some would call it a hobby, or even a “calling” to share thoughts with others, as long as they’re sincere, from the heart and harm very few. (I’m leaving room for any political discourses I may start. I got PTSD and stay away from politics as much as possible, but get my feathers ruffled when I read of some injustice or a wrong).

    I write in the mornings. Routine helps. Get my teenager up for school, see him off and write for two hours on good days. One hour on bad. That includes answering e-mails, which I have turned into posts when writing something half worthwhile to gain a little more exposure in the “market place of ideas.”

    Selfish? No. I write for myself, that is true. But, I try to tap into universal themes, those that connect with another usually through compassion, forgiveness or a small reminder of what it was like to be that pure, innocent child who saw nothing but the good — the Divine — in each and everyone he or she experienced.

    I also write about hell and why we should be wary of sending young men and women into combat.

    Boy, you got me going here. Don’t even know who you are. Hope you treat folks like me gently.

    michael j
    Conshohocken, PA USA

  • May 5, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    Sorry for the late reply….You’re right about the cathartic element, and yes in releasing the congestion we make room for more! It’s all good though, that I wholeheartedly believe. I’ve met some incredible people through blogging and am still really enjoying the ride. Hope it’s always the same for you too x

  • May 5, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    Hello and welcome! All good folks treated kindly hereabouts 🙂

    I love your words, they completely resonate with how I feel and write and I know the same is true of lots of the lovely people that I share this little section of the blogosphere with.

    I’m still struggling with the routine, with 3 young children, a job and a husband I am constantly stealing time, and I need to try and schedule it in a little better.

    I don’t know how you found me, but very happy you did. I’ll be over to visit you at your place if I may?


  • May 5, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    I’ll leave the light on for you!

    (Thanks. That was gentle.)

    michael j

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